the eye of the storm, rather than look inwards to probe themselves on what they are not doing right, they resort to trading blames and seeking who to point accusing fingers at as being responsible for their predicaments.
In a marriage situation, it takes two to tango and the woman holds the ace in most cases to the survival of the home. A whole lot is expected from the female folk such that if she fails in her assigned responsibilities, there appears to be no option “B” in rescuing a failing home.
In this post, I want to address married women and ladies who are aspiring to go into marriage situations in the nearest future. My duty is to point out critical issues that must be attended to in order to secure the walls of your relationship and keep it from cracking and eventually caving in.
Be Your Husband’s Friend
One of the things hard working men seek after every day’s work is companionship and friendship. In the face of very challenging economic situations that places a huge demand on breadwinners and men generally in the home, the pressures of the workplace is one thing most men want to put behind them after turning their backs to the office doors every day. The best place to find such succor is in the arms of their spouses at home. Unfortunately, may be out of ignorance or sheer stupidity, most women find this time the most convenient to “harass” their men! That is when they place unreasonable demands and nag their men about a whole set of irrelevant things.
Your man is not expecting to stand in a prosecution box of one UN-styled War-Crime Tribunal for which you are Chairperson when he returns home from work. He wants to come back to an enclave of love and peace. If you cannot provide that avenue for him, he will naturally seek it somewhere else. Don’t tell me about him being a religious man and therefore needs to cope with whatever he meets at home; God did not bring you into His life to make it more stressful. You are a detoxing agent and should play your role well if you expect to get a reciprocal treatment from him.
Be Interested in What He is Passionate About
Most men are sports enthusiasts. One of the best ways men relax is in the company of other “boys” over a game of soccer either during off hours or weekends. If you look at his participation and interests in such activities with disdain, he interprets it as you not being interested in him. He takes it personal when you speak down on his leisure article of interest. Wise women will create a conducive environment in their homes for their spouses to invite their friends to come over and watch a soccer game, for instance, over dinner or some bottles of soft drinks. If you make the house not relaxing enough for him, he will join his friends in an off-home site like viewing centers and other places where the environmental influence may not be morally sound for him.
This is not exclusive to games alone. If your spouse is one who is passionate about the orphans and widows; you must learn more about this interest and see to it that he is fulfilled constantly doing it with your participation and show of interest too.
Learn to Give Him some Space
No woman should make the mistake of trying to gag her man. The truth is that you cannot! Don’t believe the lie that you must watch over him at all times so that he does not miss his way. He was on his “way” before you both met. He was not lost. A man does not and should not loss his individuality and uniqueness on account of marriage. Marriage should bring out the best of that uniqueness. Let your man be the man he was created to be. Give him some space to operate and to do his business well. Quit dreaming of being able to be with him 24/7 at all his places of activities. The truth remains that you might not be doing the same thing or working in the same profession. The space is meant for him to operate at his optimum and secured men most times seek the input of their spouses in a bid to succeed in what they do.
Satisfy Him Sexually
A lot of men have sexual fantasies that their wives never get to know. Men are crazy about adventurous and daring ladies in bed. They may not directly ask their wives for fear of being accused of either getting that kind of thing outside or that they are becoming “perverted”. But that does not mean they will reject such an offer if their wives presented it them. It is therefore critically important that women should develop a cordial communication mechanism with their husbands in a way that they find out what makes the husband tick in bed and then build more capacity to be able to satisfy such cravings. If a man is fully satisfied by his wife, it would take a larger percentage of foolishness in his bones to go seek another woman outside.
Lady, don’t be too traditional and don’t be too wild. Maintain a balance and twig your game appropriately any time you notice signs of what he likes. If you are his positive Jezebel, he will distaste the negative ones outside waiting to pounce on him at any given opportunity.
We will discuss more about these in my later blog.