This week, we would be taking a closer look at another pillar that holds our relationships and keeps it working. I call it the oil that keeps the engine of every relationship moving.
Trust is a powerful pillar upon which all relationships are built. Once trust disintegrates from any relationship and efforts are not made to fix it, that could most likely signify the end of that relationship. There can never be progress until trust is restored. The restoration of trust is very tough once it has been broken, therefore, the place of trust in our relationships should be guarded jealously.
Trust is the ability to rely on the integrity of others or earn other people’s confidence. It is the confident expectation we have in others or we earn from others we closely relate with. Trust cannot work in isolation, there are things that makes trust workable and effective , lets run through a few.
Trust and accountability cannot be separated. Accountability to others and to ourselves makes us trustworthy persons. We must have a strong resolve to be accountable for our choices, decisions, time, money,resources and emotional pursuits, just to name a few. Trusted people don’t just go ahead and do whatever catches their fancy. They realize they are responsible to others in their relationship.
So they weigh their decision carefully and are ready to give account without giving excuses whenever the need arises.
Responsibility is another aspect of trust. Nobody entrusts things to an irresponsible person. Our ability to respond to issues promptly, effectively and decisively in our relationships without being prompted earns us the trust of others.
Faithfulness and consistency is another integral aspect of trust. Anyone who exhibits an incoherent habit in words and deeds cannot be trusted. Consistency is the adherence to principles and values agreed upon by people involved in a relationship. Faithfulness in our relationships is the ability to retain coherence and hold one’s self together regardless of pressure. Giving high esteem to ones relationship and staying focused in view of all odds is the key to being deeply trusted by others. Inconsistency breeds confusion while consistency builds trust. Trustworthy and faithful people develop the ability to stay true to their words, vows, promises, principles and values. This earns them the respect and trust of others.
Another aspect of trust is space. Respecting other people’s space helps relationship stay strong. When we do not give enough space, we choke life and vibrancy out of our relationships. It takes maturity to allow our relationships to breath. Space in this case does not mean we should create an emotional or physical distance. It simply means respecting those we closely relate with.
Respecting other people’s space comes with allowing others to make their own decisions without enforcing ours. Looking at other people’s decisions objectively. Allowing others to follow their dreams and visions freely without a fuss but supporting them wholeheartedly. Allowing others to be who they want to be and giving them room for expression without creating unrealistic barriers. Doing all these earns us the trust of others. Other practical ways to create an healthy space in our relationship is by not crossing personal barriers like searching through other people’s personal items without their consent. e.g mails, phones, letters , etc. Doing this exhibits lack of trust in others.
Another aspect of trust is ability to let go of the past. Not bringing the old into the new or past into the present. Bringing the experiences in our past relationships into the new chokes the power of trust. Due to past painful experiences some find it hard to trust wholly again. We must be able to separate issues of the past from the present to be able to trust unreservedly. We must learn from past experiences so we do not repeat the mistakes of the past but it should not affect the way we relate to the new people that comes into our lives.
Having extrapolated all of these pillars, it’s very obvious trust is a big deal in every relationship. The level of trust in our relationships can be built if all parties involved make the necessary effort to work at it. Let’s do what it takes to earn the trust of others and also learn to trust others unreservedly.